new year, new me

with the new year comes new possibilities.
new hopes...
new dreams.
we all want a fresh start and when the calendar turns over, we often feel it's the perfect time.

truth is, we can make a fresh start any time.
there's never a bad time to start anew,
with whatever we're hoping to accomplish.

many bloggers choose a word in january as their theme word for the year.
i think i've chosen mine.
it's been coming to mind the past few days and i think it's God nudging me.
my word for 2013 is change.

i think it's the perfect word for me, personally, and for us as a family.
we want to be different.
we want to be set apart.
i think as christians, we need to be abnormal.
we don't have picture perfect lives.
at least i don't.
and i don't want to pretend i do.

i want to be ok with God changing me.
for Him to change me for better.
and letting others see the change in me.
i know it's going to hurt.
there will be pain.
there will be discomfort.
but i don't think it's fair to my God to say He's leading me, when in actuality, i've been leading myself.
i've been doing a grand job at saying i'm a follower... when i just follow when it suits.

so what does this change mean for me?
i've been doing some reading and here's what i've discovered in the psalms that is motivating me.

who out there has a lust for life?
can't wait each day to come upon beauty?
guard your tongue from profanity,
and no more lying through your teeth.
turn your back on sin; do something good.
embrace peace -- don't let it get away!
psalm 34:12-14

i'm a mess. i'm nothing and have nothing:
make something of me.
psalm 40:17


what you're after is truth from the inside out.
enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
psalm 51:6

going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
i learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.
psalm 51:16-17


wow... aren't some of those powerful verses.
praying and meditating on those verses is frightening too.
'i learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.'
i want real intimate God-worship.
i want to be in tune with Him.
i want him to Lord over my life.

but how can i do that when i'm luke warm?
how can i do that when i pick and choose what to obey?
i need to obey it all.
and in doing so, my pride will be shattered...
and i will change.
my heart needs to be shattered in order to be put back together again.
the fear of God needs to be stronger in my life, than the fear of man.
2013... may it bring about the change necessary to follow Christ fully.

 (photos from a freezing cold mountain brook in the middle of switzerland)