insecurity and hope

insecurity is one of the worst weapons used by the enemy against women.
insecurity is bred through the simplest lies whispered into our ears.
'you're not enough.'
'she's better than you.'
'you haven't been there when you should have.'
'you can't eat that.'
'you're going to lose it all.'
'change is bad.'
'you can never do that.'
'i don't belong.'
'you can never be that person.'

it can eat us alive.
literally, from the inside, out.
when insecurity creeps up on us, we can choose to do one of two things.
we can run away... frightened, maimed and hurt... and let the enemy win.
or we can face it head on, being confident in how the Lord sees us.

our confidence isn't found in how we react to a situation or the type of person we are ("i don't do what that person does, so that means i'm good.").
we shouldn't get into the habit of patting ourselves on the back when we do 'better'.
we should though, look at how Jesus sees us.
because, seriously... we are going to continue to sin.
we will keep letting people down.
we will keep hurting ourselves in the process.

where should we find our confidence?
our confidence is to be found in Jesus Christ.
we can boast in Him!
and Him alone!
and we don't need to let all the worries of today or the worries of tomorrow damage us.
and when those stretching opportunities arise, because you know they will, we need to choose to walk with empty hands.
we need to see the beauty in releasing those insecurities.
letting go of our fears...
fears of people, places, things, circumstances.

we need to work on finding true joy and hope in Him.
He absolutely knows the very deepest desires of our hearts.
He doesn't want to see us hurt in vain.
even if we end up going through some very difficult times, He's using it as a way to refine us.
to make us more like Him.
to have a heart like Him.

so when you're feeling like you're failing, cling to Him.
to His word.
to His presence.
to the hope He brings.
Christ is for you... and He wants to fight for you.
you don't need to anymore.
He is good, always good.

 (some more recent instagrams from when we were visiting my parents in texas)

my funny baby, whom i love dearly.

my baby girl...
she's now FOUR YEARS old!
can you believe it?
she's quite the character.
she makes me laugh...

heck, she makes us ALL laugh, all the time.
(except for the times she makes me mad... which happen quite a bit too).
oops!
anyway, back to the funny stuff.
she's a character.
she's sassy.
she's bossy.
she knows what she wants.
she's tough.

she doesn't let anyone push her around.
she's adorable.
she's a little bit impish... ok, a lot.
she's weird.
and you guys that don't know her in real life...
she's seriously HILARIOUS!

she's the third child, through and through.
confident, grown up beyond her years and loud!
i guess i'm doing her 'birthday' write up.

it's only 2.5 months late.
i'm late with something?
oh, what else is new?
please laugh with me?!
also, please enjoy this photograph of my husband and i looking like twins.

baby h's preschool teacher (she happens to be my co-worker too!) always makes the comment, "oh, i just love her.  she's got this twinkle!"
and i think, oh man... what does that mean??
what kind of shenanigans is she getting into at preschool?
because baby girl isn't the easiest kid to parent.
she's actually quite naughty.

really, i should blame myself because i let her get away with way too much.
i'm usually a little bit emotionally and physically exhausted with life and so i just let her get into things.
i get mad... and then i realize, hmmm... she doing that because i don't discipline when i should.
but, again, she's the third.
i should know this by now!
she's just like me...
and she even looks exactly like i did... see?

i got away with too much when i was growing up too!
(sorry mom and dad and brother and sister!)
here's just a funny story about baby h that i have to record because i don't want to forget it.
it's just her and her personality... and it's just weird and funny and everything in between!
so my mother in law (nana, to the girls) was babysitting last week while i was working.
since baby h is now growing out of naps (you'd better believe i'm hanging onto them as long as possible!!), there's ample opportunity to go out and about with her between 1 and 4 pm.
this particular thursday, nana and h decided to hit up the local thrift store.
for what they were looking for, i have no idea.
but what they actually found?
well, this is a great story.
h finds the strangest things to suit her fancy.
this day was no different.
instead of spending all the time looking at the toy section, where did she go?
well, of course to the used candle box.
she's completely entranced by this stuff.
case in point.

nana told me she sat there for a long time, inspecting every old odd candle.
and the hardest decision of all?
deciding which ones would come home with her.
the green tree and turquoise half cracked tealight were the winners!

not to be outdone, she had to find another 'treasure' and she conveniently fell in love with a glittery snowman.

i bet someone paid at least a hefty $3 for this item back in the day.
it was hers for a mere .25!
deal of the day!
and now... it's the TOY of the year!

this incredible, sparkly snowman currently goes everywhere with her.
to the dentist...

to birthday parties...

to preschool (for show and tell!!!),

and to bed, naturally.

he is a little creepy.
what, with his blackish eye and kiss spot.

does that stop her?
no... she absolutely adores him.
he's attractive to all people, under the age of 5.
if anyone's looking for a fantastic birthday or christmas present for their child, let me know.
i might be able to smuggle this guy out of our house.

i'm still here!!!

i promise i have not left.
i've been busy with my girls and other commitments.
and honestly, i just haven't felt motivated enough to write on here.
sometimes i feel my words don't hold enough weight to actually matter on the interwebs.
but then i know that my words matter always to my Jesus.
and if i want my blog to reflect Him... then i need to share what He's doing in my heart.
can i get an amen??

can you tell that i think it's important to share our stories?
because i do.
i think it's so very important to share our journeys with others.
we need to let pieces out, every once in a while, so people know we're real and authentic.
God made you who you are.
He hasn't made any mistakes on you.
i have made many mistakes... but that's ok.
all of my mistakes have pointed me back to the perfect one.
and in Him, i find my worth, my joy, my peace and my hope.
anyway... this was just short and sweet.
and to basically say, i'm still here!!
hi!  (i'm waving... but you can't see)
hmmm...
maybe i should do a vlog once... but maybe not.
i hate my voice!