randomness on a wednesday...

just wanted to write out a few new things.

my littlest!
oh, how i just love her.
maybe it's because she's the baby of the family, but i just can't get enough hugs and snuggles from her.

lucky me, because she actually is a bit of a cuddler (nothing like #2, however MUCH more than #1).
i just want to remember how she is r.i.g.h.t. n.o.w.
how she uses 'my' in replace of 'i' when she speaks ("can my have some?").

how she always wants to wear a dress or skirt.
how she puts her shoes on the wrong feet.

how she sucks on her finger anytime she feels satin (even on the tag of her carseat!).
how she is so excited about dance class... doing her first 'rainbow' position and doing the splits all the time.

how she asks for me to sing her to sleep.  every. single. night.
how her perfect little lips have the perfect little pout!

she's such a little joy in my life and i'm so glad i get my days at home with her now that the older two are in full time school.
what a blessing!
another blessing...

my new coffee machine!!!!!
ahhhhhh!
ain't she pretty?!
i honestly am in LOVE with this thing.
is it possible to want to adopt this machine into our real family.

like go to the judge and ask him to add her to our health insurance?
yes, it's a her.
she is lovely.
and sleek.
and a workhorse.
i am smitten.

her liquid is strong and smooth and reminds me of the java in italy.
what a way to start a morning, huh?

in other news... my husband got to see peyton manning this past weekend.

he went to see his beloved texans play the broncos.
is it strange that he took picture after picture of men... 

stretching... 

working out...

and jamming to their music?

i'm trying not to be weirded out.
ha!
he had a great time... so i guess that's all that matters?

while he was away and i was single parenting...
numero uno and i went to a race.

it was her 2nd 5k! 
this time we ran with another one of my good friends and her little daughter.

the weather was cool but great for a race.
it was a fun time!
i really hope to continue racing with big k... and then with little k and baby h in the future!

and last but not least...
i start SCHOOL tonight!
yes, school.
i am taking an early childhood education course, paid for by the preschool i work at 1 day/week.
it should be interesting.
and i'm crossing my fingers the workload won't be too bad.
hopefully we'll just get to color, make crafts and play dress up all the time?
no?
one can hope, right?

(this was up on the whiteboard in our preschool staff room to give us encouragement during the first week of school)

birthday realizations...

so, another year came and went.

i celebrated my birthday a week ago.

i always think it's kinda funny when people call on your birthday and ask, "so... how does it feel?"

am i supposed to feel any different than the day before?

does turning another year older mean i'll feel differently from one year to the next?

i think aging has more to do with seasons in your life than with the number of your years.

and so i don't feel right now that the age of 33 is drastically different than the age of 32.

this season in my life right now happens to be pretty predictable.

but ask me a year from now... and a whole lot may have changed.

i don't know what will happen in this next year of my life.

or next season of my life.

i just have to try and live day to day, moment to moment.

i don't know what the future holds... only the One that holds the future!

i need to remind myself of that often.

regularly i have to pinch myself... i have two school aged children and one not far behind!

it doesn't help that lately my girls have taken to wanting to watch old video tape.

they love to see themselves as babies and little toddlers up on the TV screen.

if i'm being honest, i love to watch them too.

i'm a sucker for nostalgia!

i love to remember those moments.

and, in hindsight, those moments when i had little ones at home were wonderful!

i almost can't remember the "bad" times... but i know they were there.

there are times i wish i could transport myself back to those simpler times.

when i could just be at home... in pajamas with my girls... all day long... nowhere to be... no one to see.

and then i get sad.

and i think of all the wasted moments i've had in my life.

the times i've brushed my kids off when they wanted to play, "mommy's busy", "mommy's working", "mommy's tired".

and i wish i could grab hold of that mama and say, "STOP!  stop what you're doing!"

pay attention to those little ones.

they won't be little ones forever.

the dishes can wait... supper can be take-out again... those emails can be answered later...

and i think, why couldn't i have paid more attention and treasured those moments when they were small.

and then i pinch myself AGAIN!

and i realize... they ARE still small.

they ARE still young.

i may not be super mom.

they may not always have the healthiest of meals because their favorite food is noodles.

they may have dirt behind their ears because i didn't want to fight to get them in the bath again.

they're not gonna remember if our house was spotless or if all their laundry was clean.

but i know they'll remember the laughing, the playing, the creating.

this is a challenge to myself in this next year to maximize my time.

to be more intentional with my children... to stop wasting moments... and to stop feeling guilty.

motherhood is hard enough.

i will use the opportunity of my birthday and the new "year" upon me to be the best ME i can.

Lord willing, i'll do some good things this year and use the mistakes to grow and learn from.

just got up

not me... her.

she needed to catch up a bit from camping this weekend.
going to bed at midnight and up at 8 for a couple days in a row does not make for a happy camper.
yay for no school today!!!
catch up time was needed and it did her good!  :)

my birthday "gifts"

birthdays are funny for me!
everyone loves to feel special, appreciated and thought of, right?
i am no exception.
i love people... love being with people... love being social.

but make me the centre of attention... and i'm caught like a deer in headlights.

it makes me feel uncomfortable and weird.

ha!

that makes me laugh even writing that out because it probably doesn't make sense to many.

so birthdays, for me personally, can be kinda awkward.

i like the attention, to some degree, but also feel strange and unsure of myself.

i'm like an extroverted introvert.

look at me!

i'm labelling myself.

does it sound like i need a counsellor or something?

oh man.

all this to say, is that this year's birthday had it's own mix of excitedness (is that a word?), unsuredness (another spell check word), and a lot of blessings!

i was able to see a lot of special people throughout the day.

spending time with my wonderful family and good friends.

even a couple of unexpected surprises were thrown in!

each and every person i saw, spoke with, texted with, and communicated with, made me feel unique and of worth.

those words that i heard and read were, honestly, the greatest of gifts to me.

i think i've realized i'm a "words of affirmation" kinda girl.

i know this because even now, a couple of days later, i keep re-reading all those wishes, thoughts, blessings and thanks...

and they are giving me life and vitality.

they touch and heal my heart like salve.

don't get me wrong, i was gifted some wonderful and thoughtful items too!

the people in my life know me well and i received some beautiful items.

just a few of my birthday presies...

of course, i couldn't pass up an opportunity to take some shots of my bike gift from two years ago WITH it's new accessory...
a new wicker basket!!

isn't it the cutest now?!

i mean, it was adorbs before...

but now it's super duper cute.

it's just missing a bottle of red wine and a baguette, non?

and since i'm on the french kick...

le piece de resistance...

my new coffee table!!!!

i like to call it "modern industrial country chic".
remember, i'm into labelling!
and if you can believe it... my husband MADE it!!!!!!!!!!
yes, my lovely, dearest spouse put it together with his own hands.
i was extremely surprised and so thrilled.
it was my idea for a long, long time to make one of these pallet tables myself.
thank you pinterest for never-ending ideas... and not enough time!
but, of course, i didn't actually make the time or effort to create one.
it was just another item on the long "creative to-do list".
imagine how my face lit up when i realized my husband made it for me!
how sweet!
it's perfect for our home and i LOVE it!

there you have it... my list of birthday gifts...
and, like i said, the highest on the list... all the words i received from loved ones.
God knows me and loves me well!

sunday song

the third is three!

today is my baby's third birthday.
obviously i've been expecting this day but now it's here and i don't know how to feel.
on one hand, i'm sad and nostalgic and weepy.
my little baby is growing up.
she's clearly NOT a baby anymore but a little girl.

there's a big part of me that wants to go back in time and rock her tiny little warm body up close to me.
i want to stroke her face while she nurses and treasure those late night feeds.
i want to dress my little baby girl up in teeny weeny dresses and sleepers.
i want to swaddle her and sing her a lullaby.
i want to never forget how she was when she was small, when she was young.

but on the other hand, it's so much fun to see how she's aging.
she's becoming a big girl... right before my eyes!
as most third kids do, she's getting into older things at a younger age on account of her big sisters.
which means her baby stage wasn't as long as the others' baby stages.
she wants to do everything her self and wants to do everything everyone else does.
no matter that she's now only three!

it's a joy to see her exploring and discovering her world.
she loves life and lives it to the fullest.
she's a happy girl, laughs a lot, but she has a temper (what 3 year old doesn't?).

she's a busy girl, moving quickly from one activity to the next.
she's an affectionate girl, loves to give hugs and kisses and cuddles.
she talks a mile a minute about anything and everything.
my mom always says she's just like a little stephie.
i like hearing that.

now that my older two are in full time school, it's just me and her at home most days.
she's my little sidekick!
so, no... she's not a baby anymore... but that doesn't mean i can't treasure this stage.
i can still love on her all i want... spoil her (she is my baby)... and thank God for who she is and who she's becoming.
and luckily... she still loves to have me sing her lullabys!

happy third birthday, sweet baby h!!!
you're the blessing we didn't know we needed until you graced us with your presence!
may you always look to Jesus to guide and protect you!
we love you more than you know!