heart attack

today was one of the scariest days of my life.
i lost one of my children.
my middle daughter was lost and left alone for almost half an hour... in the bitter cold.
to make a long story short...
i believe the school made a huge mistake in allowing her to leave to walk home to her nana's place.
my girls take the bus every day.
if they're not taking the bus, i always, always, always put a note in their agenda books or i call the school.
little k was adamant that she was supposed to walk to her nana's after school today.

that was never discussed, so i have no clue where she got the idea.
i knew my in law's wouldn't be home after school today.
but listen to this...
the school allowed her to leave WITHOUT my permission.
they called me after she had already left the school only because my eldest daughter noticed her little sister wasn't in the bus line.
i mean seriously?!
and her teacher even called my mother in law prior to calling me and left a message saying, "k is on her way walking to your place, just so you know."
seriously?!?!
typically if people don't answer, they're usually not home.
how can you let a six year old girl walk all by herself?!
so after i got the call from her teacher, i panicked.
i freaked out.
i grabbed baby h and started to get our coats on.
i received a call from my friend D who was at the bus picking up all the kids.
little k wasn't there...
i knew that because i had just gotten off the phone with her teacher.
i know D knew i was freaking out.
she offered to drive to my in law's place to look for my daughter.
those were some agonizing minutes as i waited.
i prayed and prayed and thought the worst.
i really did.
it was so very, very scary.
but i can say that i also felt peace in the midst of the scary.
it's hard to explain... but i did.

after what felt like an hour, but was probably only 5 minutes, D called me back.
she had little k.
phew.
thank you Lord!
i didn't quite settle until i saw her sweet face and held her in my arms.
and it was then that i broke down...
tears of relief... anger... anxiety... frustration... pain.
but my daughter was safe.
she was ok.
i found out that little k was probably waiting outside at my in law's for about 10-15 minutes, by herself.
she walked all around the house, knocking on all the doors.
and people... it was FREEZING out today.

absolutely bitterly cold.
my poor baby was all alone, in the cold, waiting.
i'm so glad that she's alright... but i'm also terribly upset with the school.
i just don't understand it because they are very careful with safety at our school.
well, they obviously dropped the ball in this situation.
i am the worst... literally, the worst with confrontation.
but you better bet your bottom dollar that i'll be going to the school tomorrow to confront them on this.
i can't in good conscience let this go.
what if we didn't find her?
what if someone took her?
what if she got frostbite from waiting outside so long?
i don't even want to think about the possibilities.
i'm still recovering from my near heart attack.
i'll be holding her close tonight... along with my other two girls.
thank you Lord for your continued protection and provision for these blessings of mine.
help me not to take safety for granted.