Saturday, March 23, 2013

anger

not sure where the anger is popping out of today...
but it's here.
and i hate it when it rears it's ugly head.
i just had a bad mealtime fight with my littlest.
not sure why i always have the need to control her eating habits.
maybe because she's always been on the tinier side i feel the need to "help" her.
really, she'll eat when she's hungry, right?
but yet, here i am, anxious and upset that she's sitting at the table for over an hour and has only taken one bite.
one bite.
ugh!
and that one bite was forced by me.
her mom.
tears and yelling.
that's what this lunchtime was.
and i hate it.
i finally just put her down for her nap because i was just too frustrated.
again, not sure where the anger is coming from today.
just knowing that i need some grace...
major grace.
here i am, failing, as usual.
and she's sound asleep and i'm the one with tears now.
feeling like i should go wake her up and cuddle her and apologize.
just keepin' it real today...

3 comments:

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

Can't even tell you how many times I go and sniff their heads when they're sleeping and I'm wallowing in guilt.

You're a good Mama. Your littles are lucky and there's grace for ALL of us. Hallelujah! :)

bandofbrothers said...

i'm so sorry. that would totally stress me out!

i read somewhere that anger is a secondary emotion to a primary source of pain...which could be worry or fear or sadness. not saying that is the case for you of course....

Natasha Friesen said...

Oh my dear friend! You are such a good mom! Kinda glad and also very sad to know I'm not the only one that looses it on these precious kids of ours and then regrets it dearly later. We try our best, we love them so much it hurts sometimes...and God loves us and them waaay more! I trust He gave us these kids for a reason and that He will take care of them...even in our failures! Would love to give you a hug! Love you!