Friday, February 17, 2012

like a child

i've been having a bit of a rough go of things with my middle girl.
you see, she's terribly sensitive... but also extremely strong willed.
once she's upset about something, anything, it's hard to get her to snap out of it.
so she comes home from kindergarten at lunch today,
she starts to play with her little sister and then they start to fight (surprise, surprise) over the same doll.
i knew baby was playing with the one doll first so i told little k to give back the doll.
she snaps (like usual) and goes running and stomping into her room yelling, "no one lets me do ANYTHING!!"
you see, this behaviour can be pretty normal with this one.
she's highly emotional.
but... she's also the sugary sweetest little thing too.
so affectionate and lovey.
how to proceed?
i don't know.
even after a "talk" she was still so emotional.
then another thing set her off... and another thing...
she was freaking out in her room again.
finally...i had to resort to measures.
she sobbed in my arms and cuddled up to me.
i was crying too.
all of a sudden she stops crying and just lays there.
then she looks up at me, "mommy, can i change my clothes?"
and all is normal again.
it was like a light switch.
she was crazy... then calm.
i just sat there, sorta dumbfounded because i couldn't help but see the correlation that was playing out before my eyes.
here is my child...
my beautiful little girl.
i love her unconditionally, i do.
but she can make me so angry sometimes.
she continues to disobey, disregard my rules, be rude to me, etc...
discipline is necessary with children.
after i get through to her, she's open.
she's apologetic and genuine.
i see my own Father in this situation.
He loves me so much... true unconditional love.
there are ways that He is trying to guide me... trying to discipline me.
He sets rules in front of me to protect me, to love on me.
but do i always easily obey?
do i always believe He knows what's best for me?
no, i don't.
and like my middle daughter, He needs to show me His love with some discipline sometimes.
the hurt isn't always for nothing.
the hurt shows us where we can change things in our life that need changing.
the tough stuff isn't about us being punished.
it's about us realizing that we are not alone and we cannot do it alone.
all He wants is for us to climb into His arms and let Him do His thing.
why do i need so much coaxing sometimes?
i'm not sure.
it's the best place to be... safe and comforted in the arms of my Saviour.
training my children is God's way of training me.
isn't that funny?
i learn so much more out of this mothering process about me, than about them.
it's the most absolute hardest job i've ever had, it's also the job that has brought me to my knees more times than i can count.
so thank you Lord for these hiccups... because i know You're just doing Your job as a parent.  :)

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