Sunday, October 21, 2012

feeling God

there are many times that i feel like God is a God that's far away.
my measly problems shouldn't matter to Him when He's busy dealing with all the other crap in the world.
but the more i think about it... the more i realize it's not Him that's keeping Himself from me.
it's simply ME... i'm keeping myself from HIM!
He's always there.
it's me that has to choose whether or not i want to notice Him... or recognize that He's patiently waiting.
i have lots of friends and family in my life that run.
run to keep in shape... run to be healthy... run for stress relief... run for fun!
i run for all these reasons... but i also run for my time with God.
when i have at least a half hour of uninterrupted time to listen to Him... to blast my praise music...
ahhh... there's not much better than that.
and i felt His presence ever so close to me this morning.
i love to sing!
but when i'm running, it's not really the best time to sing.
actually, it's friggin' hard to sing while running.
anyway, after my run, i sat on my driveway and stretched while still listening to music.
that's when i start to sing.
my poor neighbours!
i can't even hear how loud i'm singing because my headphones are on full.
so i'm sitting there stretching and listening to mercy me's, "word of God speak".
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would you pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That you're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In your holiness 
Word of God speak

when i hear these words, i'm praying them.
i'm crying out to God.
i feel His spirit.
and what do you know happened?
it starts to rain.
little drops of rain are hitting my face.
and i know... i know... He IS in this place.
because i chose to feel Him.
i recognized that i needed to seek Him out.
as i watch the rain i'm also confronted with this...
some rain is nice.
but they're just drops on the surface.
just spots on the pavement.
but as the rain comes down, you can see something clearly.
the rain, the more there is, is reflecting.
it's reflecting like a mirror.
the more rain... the more reflection.
the more pain... the more of God we can show... IF we choose to.
so God, pour down like rain.
keep nudging me in my quiet moments.
help me to keep on seeking You.


bandofbrothers said...

that is SO awesome that you were singing so loud! ha! i would have loved to hear it. i sound like a crow. sad but true. in heaven i will sound great. i'm sure of it;)

Meg {henninglove} said...

there is a great quote i always hear on the message on channel 63 on sirius if you are feeling distant from God it probably isn't Him who moved. and thank goodness He forgives me each and every time i fail

Andrea {kerubo mama} said...

what a fantastic parallel! I love this!
i'm joining a running club, and reading posts like this make me excited for the discipline, and the time to think about God and his goodness.
i would have loved to hear you sing on your driveway ;) that's so great! haha

Denise said...

it's always me that keeps me from Him, too. usually because of pride or entitlement or lies. so glad His mercy pours down like rain on me, too. i need it!