Tuesday, October 11, 2011

God time

my prayer life has been a little non-existent as of late.
it's been embarrassingly stagnant.
i have no excuses.
i can say things like, "oh, my kids are keeping me busy!" -- they are.
and, "when i have time for God i'm just too darn tired!" -- i am.
and, "i just need some time for myself." -- sometimes i do.
but they are not excuses.
or rather, i should say they are extremely poor excuses.
it's like i tell Jesus, "hey, can you just hang on there a minute?
can't you just wait over there until i feel i really need your help?
i'm just gonna keep you in this neat little box, ok?"
this is what i'm saying to the creator of the universe.
this is what i'm saying to the almighty and omnipotent God.
this is what i'm saying to the one that has saved me.  ME?
uh huh.
that is me.
i know what He should be saying back to me and my 'excuses', "YOU want ME to wait?"
but He doesn't say that, does He?
He does wait on me.
all. the. time.
He is always there.
He is the one that is always craving me.
when it should be exactly the other way around.
i shouldn't be surprised that this is the way things are right now.
my relationship with my Jesus is essentially the same as other close relationships i have in life.
like my marriage, for example.
i can't just assume that my husband and i are going to have multi-faceted intimacy without communicating.
can i?
and i can't just assume that my friend (swap friend with mom, sister, etc.) and i are going to connect on deeper levels when we're not even talking.
can i?
so how come i think that i'm going to have this grand ole' spiritual life when i'm not in communication with my God?
it ain't gonna work, will it?
true intimacy and depth cannot be achieved without some form of communication.
i will not continue to grow and thrive in my spiritual walk without a proper prayer life.
it will take work.
it will take dedication.
i will fail.
but my God will be there every time to pick me up and dust me off.
and i will try again.
step one in this journey...
carve out time for God.
this includes getting up BEFORE my girls get up.
this is a hard one for me because i am NOT a morning person.
M is getting up early for work anyway, so why am i staying in bed 'til the last possible second?
i can make the time.
i'll read my bible along with doing my daily devotions on my phone.
(i get daily devos sent to my email from proverbs 31 ministries... which are really awesome, by the way)
step two...
i don't think it's a bad thing to lure myself out of bed in the mornings for the promise of a hot cup of java.
i am setting my coffee maker timer every night before bed in the hopes of an amazing early aroma.
step three...
use those free moments i have during the day to talk to Him.
you know the times... sitting at the bus stop, taking a shower, going for a run.
there are always times when i can pray.
i know that.
i just need to take the opportunity.
step four...
see where things go from here.
see where God takes me.
The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. 
James 5:16 MSG

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